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October 5, 2010

The Opening Monologue - 05/10/2010

The Opening Monologue - Tuesday the 5th of October 2010
Written by Vittorio Leonardi.

Good evening.

A new month has dawned and with it the hope that species may finally understand that because you can doesn't necessarily mean you should. However, this doesn't mean that we should be resting on our laurels. The gene pool still needs way too much chlorine to be comfortable. Our collective eyes are still burning so the cull must continue.

However, I do start this week with a glimmer of hope, albeit a distant one.

Julius Malema will be gone by April 2011!!

Yes, it's true! The King of Foot-in-Mouth, the Lord of Poo-Poo Mouth, our very own superhero - Designated Distraction Man - will be out of here come next year. Try not to start counting the days right away.

Few can forget how, in April 2008, South Africa got its most vicious April fool's Joke as JM took office. But, with less than seven months to go, one can only wonder if it'll happen again.

Julius certainly isn't making friends on the way out: a few choice words to various government leaders including Nzelinzima Vavi and a public spat with President JZ; the continual need to nationalize the mines and wonderful comments on Helen Zille, have left him with no bridges left to torpedo.

Just a noisy foghorn in the mist of his own belligerence.

. There is a slight chance Julius could be granted an extension till June. Some might say that this is unfair, but SA comedians may be on the list of people that are sad to see him go. With Julius leaving, where are we to find free material? Oh wait... we still have Parliament.

Never mind lads! The jokes on them!!


There's a reason Strictly Come Dancing will never be done in Turkey: its way too violent. A New Zealand court convicted a Turkish of assaulting his wife. The man's defence: he and his wife were celebrating a profitable lunchtime's trade with a traditional dance called kolbasti, which features mock wrestling, hitting and kicking.

This is the kolbasti
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t3wBQE9GHQ

Just a dance, huh? I guess next you're going to tell me you were just cleaning your fist and it went off.


Zimbabwe is not known for its great decision makers. However, one has to be fearful of the mental faculties - or lack thereof - that it takes to believe this next story. A Zimbabwean woman called Nomatter Tagarira convinced several high level Zim government people that she could get diesel from a rock. It used to be blood now its fossil fuel. And they say there's been no progress on the planet.

And it was a great con too. When she stroked a rock, an assistant would open a tap to a secret tank and the fuel would come gushing out of the stone. In response, they reacted calmly. Since she could solve the country's crippling fuel shortage, they gave her £1.7 million, a farm, an armed guard and one time, a 50-vehicle convoy, to carry out her sacred BS.

"Thank you, thank you, but I couldn't have done it without the help of the guy that rigs your elections."

You read right. Tobaiwa Mudede, the registrar general in charge of the issue of all personal documentation, the guy that signed off on all the gear they gave her, had originally supplied Tagarira with 125 litres of diesel fuel to use in her performances.

After the administration woke up to the hoax, Mudede hid the BS medium from the police.

However, no action is known to have been taken against Mudede, who has been in charge of managing elections for most of the last 30 years, including a decade of disputed polls.

The medium, on the other hand, has been sentenced to three or more years in Chikurubi Prison. Oh well, I guess that's fair. I mean, how dare she con the con artists? They fought long and hard to get to the pinnacle of their fields.

Now go sit in your cell and think about what you've done young lady.


America may be facing a new wave of attacks very soon and this time, from Mother Nature. After the BP oil spill that would not die, lawmakers have decided that the American Pygmy Rabbit,

http://cdn.24.com/files/Cms/General/d/898/7c8bf9c841df4d5b87042eec8948e1e7.jpg

is not worthy of being put on the endangered species list.

"But, the pygmy rabbit is the smallest and one of only two rabbits in North America that make its own burrows. And he's so cute too." Cried the bunny huggers.

"Well tough luck," says the government. "The little guy will just have to learn to live in a trailer park like the rest of forgotten America. Besides, if we protect him, how are we going to profit from all these energy and farming projects that are coming up? It's not like the bunny can drive a tractor."

"Well, you have a point there," said the now-tree huggers. "I guess you're on your own, fuzzy."

"Ah, crap," said the bunnies "Where the hell is Bugs Bunny when you need him?!"

"Never fear," said the local Al-Qaeda rep. "I will give your life meaning again, now put on this jacket, find an infidel's home and burrow for all you're worth!"

Yeah, look at me like I'm crazy, it could happen. Leave the damn bunnies alone!


In response to the possibility of an all out bunny blasting brigade, Las Vegas has built a death ray. MGM Resorts International has a very swanky hotel and condominium complex called Vdara in Vegas. The twit that designed it thought it would be a wonderful idea to make it look like this.

http://www.reuters.com/resources/r/?m=02&d=20101001&t=2&i=216288488&w=320&fh=&fw=&ll=&pl=&r=2010-10-01T184203Z_01_BTRE6901FY700_RTROPTP_0_VDARA

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b7/Vdara_-_South_-_2010-03-06.JPG

For those of you without basic science, realize that that monstrosity is a giant solar convergence panel. It collects, focuses and then reflects blazing desert sunshine, capable of melting plastic and singing hair.

And what was MGM's reaction to this?

http://ritesofpatches.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/meh-cat.jpg

They decided to give out more umbrellas, and in emergencies, asbestos.

How is Al-Qaeda not winning this war? When your enemy willingly builds a death ray - worthy of a James Bond villain - in their own back yard all you have to do is sit back and wait for the smell of macon in the morning.


A recent US survey has shown that though Atheists and Agnostics don't believe in God, they know a fair amount about him.

Some of the survey results include:

1. More than four-in-10 Catholics do not know that their church teaches that the bread and wine used in Communion actually become the body and blood of Christ.

2. About half of Protestants cannot correctly identify Martin Luther as the person who sparked the Protestant Reformation.

3. Less than half identified Buddhism as the Dalai Lama's religion, 51 percent knew that Joseph Smith was Mormon and 54 percent correctly said the Koran is the Islamic holy book. More than 80 percent knew that Mother Teresa was Catholic.

4. Nine-in-10 Americans know U.S. Supreme Court rulings do not allow teachers to lead public school classes in prayer. But two-thirds incorrectly said Supreme Court rulings prevent them from using the Bible as an example of literature.

So, in the end this survey proves what most of should know: Atheists and Agnostics know so much about religion because:

1. You can't poke fun at folks unless you know all the facts.

2. Know your enemy when they come knocking on a Sunday morning.


Celebrity product endorsements are nothing new. Pierre Spies flogs OUTsurance, Joost supports the cocaine cartels and strippers. In the end, it's all about good business savvy.

So it's a special time when a celebrity-endorsed cereal advertises a sex line number that supposed to be for a charity.

The sex line or the charity, bubba? Here's a thought, next time you get a number, check it first.

"The wrong number was given by the Feed the Children charity," Ochocinco's agent Robert Bailey said. "It's a shame because it's a good cause."

The charity or the sex line, bubba?


Here are some other points of note from across the sea:

A St. Louis man has beaten the odds and won the lottery, twice. All together now...
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSS!!


The Boston Fire Department received a donation that will allow the supply of small oxygen masks designed for pets. Don't animals have a heightened sense of smell? Surely they would be the first to leave when the smoke hits the fan. So basically we're not only saving dumb people from fire and asphyxiation, we're saving their pets too. Great guys, this why the gene pool is in the crapper.

What?! I'm just saying.


And finally... Star Wars is set to make a comeback... Oh goody. *facepalm*

http://www.collider.com/wp-content/image-base/Clubhouse/F/Funny_Pictures/slices/slice_star_wars_stormtrooper_facepalm_01.jpg

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of the Star Wars Hexalogy.. However...

George Lucas still isn't done flogging that bag of bones of a dead horse. The Hexalogy will be now converted to 3D so that geeks the world over can be conned into seeing the same six films yet again.

And why not, says I? You just keep doing what you do George and don't listen to those "normal" swine. When you think about it... there is an upside.

You want a reason to look forward to a 3D Star Wars movie?

Bring on the 3D Princess Leia Bronze Bikini!!

http://mydisguises.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/slave-leia-group-photo-1.jpg

http://www.snowbuni.com/YaBB_misc/MISC_slaveleia_pillowfight.jpg

I know it only covers one movie, but hell, I'm not Yoda.


This concludes this week's edition of The Opening Monologue. See you next week and remember, you haven't heard it all till you've heard The Last Say On Sunday.

Goodbye.

Posted by vittorio at 7:06 PM | Comments (0)

Stand-up Comedy @ Cool Runnings, Victory Park

Tuesday the 5th of October 2010
Stand-up Comedy @ Cool Runnings, Victory Park

Cool Runnings, Victory Park
Shop 28, Victory Park Shopping Centre
Rustenburg Rd, Victory Park

Tel: +27 (11) 888 7633/4
Fax: +27 (11) 888 7628

Join me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=91633385882&v=info
Join The Opening Monologue: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=303236570417&ref=ts

Line-up: Nicky Van (MC), Warren Robertson and Vittorio Leonardi.

Show Starts: 20:45
Entrance Fee: FREE!!

Posted by vittorio at 8:45 PM | Comments (0)

October 6, 2010

Stand-up Comedy @ Bubba J's

Wednesday the 6th of October 2010
Bubba J's Sports and Comedy Cafe

Corner of Finch & Reier Road, Atlasville

Brought to you by Nomad Comedy

Join me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=info&gid=91633385882
Join The Opening Monologue: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=303236570417&ref=ts

Line-up: Vittorio Leonardi and Darren Maule.

Show Starts: 20:30
Entrance Fee: R20

Posted by vittorio at 8:30 PM | Comments (0)

October 9, 2010

Stand-up Comedy & Rocking Tunes @ Rocking The Gardens

Saturday the 9th of October 2010
Rocking The Gardens
Emmarentia Dam

Two days of Rock and Comedy to lift up your hands and jiggle your funny bones.

Directions: http://rockingthegardens.com/2009/07/15/vestibulum-faucibus-metus/

Tickets: https://www.webtickets.co.za/event.aspx?itemid=2021078

All details available at: http://rockingthegardens.com/

Join me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=info&gid=91633385882
Join The Opening Monologue: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=303236570417&ref=ts

Line-up:

Saturday

11am - 12pm: Musical Comedy
Deep Fried Man and Tats Nkonzo


12-13:30: New Acts Show
Hosted by Dave Levinsohn
Mojack, Omer Mahgoub , Monique Nortje, Grant "Willy" Wilson, Richard Deacon, Mpho Popps and George Kuda


14:00 - 15:00: Improv Comedy
Chris Forrest hosts Warren Robertson, Monique Nortje and Vittorio Leonardi


15:30 - 17:00: Hot Acts Show
Warren Robertson hosts Nqoba Ncgobo, Dale Amler and Chris Forrest.


17:30 - 19:00: Headliners Show
Vittorio Leonardi hosts Shaun Wewege, Chris James (USA) and Conrad Koch.


19:30 - 20:30: Improv Comedy
Vittorio Leonardi hosts Warren Robertson, Monique Nortje and Al Prodgers.


21:00 - 22:30: Headliners Show
Dave Levinsohn hosts Alyn Adams, Al Prodgers.


23:00 - Midnight: Late and Live Adult Show
Hosted by Alyn Adams.

Posted by vittorio at 11:00 AM | Comments (0)

October 10, 2010

Stand-up Comedy & Rocking Tunes @ Rocking The Gardens

Sunday the 10th of October 2010
Rocking The Gardens
Emmarentia Dam

Two days of Rock and Comedy to lift up your hands and jiggle your funny bones.

Directions: http://rockingthegardens.com/2009/07/15/vestibulum-faucibus-metus/

Tickets: https://www.webtickets.co.za/event.aspx?itemid=2021078

All details available at: http://rockingthegardens.com/

Join me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=info&gid=91633385882
Join The Opening Monologue: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=303236570417&ref=ts

Line-up:

Sunday

11am - 12pm: Clean Act Comedy
Dave Levinsohn hosts Rob Fridjhon and Vittorio Leonardi.


12 - 13:30: New Acts Show
Hosted by Warren Robertson
Mojack, Tats Nkonzo, Deep Fried Man, Mpho Popps, Omer Mahgoub, Grant "Willy" Wilson, Richard Deacon.


13:30 - 14:30: Improv
Dave Levinsohn hosts Vittorio Leonardi, Warren Robertson and Rob Fridjhon


14:45 - 15:30: International Act


15:30 - 17:00: Best of the Fest
Rob Fridjhon hosts Ndumiso Lindi, Robby Collins, Mel Miller.

Posted by vittorio at 11:00 AM | Comments (0)

October 12, 2010

Stand-up Comedy @ Ridgeback

Tuesday the 12th of October 2010
Ridgeback Village Restaurant

129 Jean Avenue,
Corner Jean Ave and Suid Street, Centurion.

BOOKINGS: (+2712) 6671142

It's student night at Ridgeback and we're gonna rock the house with some pumping stand-up comedy!

Join me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=info&gid=91633385882
Join The Opening Monologue: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=303236570417&ref=ts

Line-up: Vittorio Leonardi (MC), Warren Robertson and Al Prodgers.

Show Starts: 20:00
NO ENTRANCE FEE!!

Posted by vittorio at 8:00 PM | Comments (0)

October 13, 2010

The Opening Monologue - 13/10/2010

The Opening Monologue - Tuesday the 5th of October 2010
Written by Vittorio Leonardi.


Good evening.

And the beat goes on... it seems that the insanity train stopped on every continent this week. Every corner is covered in the nuttiness of a world happily in touch with its eccentricity. It is thus, in this spirit, that I give you another chapter in The Chronicles of Nutterville a.k.a. Earth.

We begin our tale here at home. Police raided a farm in Nelspruit and found 17000 rounds of ammunition - most of it R4 assault rifle type - allegedly stolen from Hoedspruit air force base.

And now the fun facts:

The farm is called Jaglus - which can creatively be translated as Hunting Lust. As is often the case, the clue is in the title.

The suspect is a former air force flight instructor, turned mercenary. And not in that "deeply philosophical, The Expendables" kind of way either.

There is a second safe that the cops haven't opened yet... I'm guessing that's where he has hidden his collapsible fort and fold out bazooka.

Moral of the story:

Whenever one decides to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse, remember that there will always be those that misunderstand your preparations. Let them scoff. When the horde comes, you'll have the last nom, nom!


A man in the UK has been ordered to snip his phallus or face a stiff fine. I'll let you decide.

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Home/Offensive-hedge-gets-the-snip.htm

It seems not everyone in Haddenham likes to see Ian Ashemeade's well trimmed bush. He claims that it was just naturally growing in that shape so he helped it along. I'll bet you did oh horny hat wearer. As a side note, he is also the World Pea Shooting Champion. No really. He won the title at the World Pea Shooting Championships held in Witcham this past summer. Well ladies, he's single, shoots his pea far and can really trim a bush.

How is he single?


Staying in Britain... do you want to catch criminals and be rewarded for doing it, and all that from the comfort of your pc? Hell yes! Well, this is the latest in a series of attempts at getting lethargic dole earners to make themselves useful. For a small fee, Internet Eyes will give you access to CCTV footage streaming in live from various UK department stores. The idea is that with so many cameras, they need people to watch them. And if you catch someone doing something illegal, you hit your handy, dandy alert button and the store security monkeys pounce.

Depending on the criminal hooked, you could get up to £1000. I don't see how this could be abused, do you?

Now we needn't worry about freedoms being infringed upon. The company says they'll screen everyone that applies so as to weed out the voyeurs. Yeah, right. Then how did I get these?

http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/brainiac/airport_xray_scanner.jpg

http://lefttochance.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-o-matic/cache/29205_airport_x-ray_scanner_sexy_woman_naked.jpg

Where is your privacy law poopy now?!!


Rock band Weezer has been offered $10 million to leave, be gone and, in general, to sod off... by their fans. A group of frustrated former fans have clasped handies and asked the Music Gods to please let the band err on the side of greed and release themselves from making disappointing music.

"This is an abusive relationship," the project's creator said. "It needs to [end]."
"I'm tired of it," James Burns explained to Seattle's the Stranger. "Every year, Rivers Cuomo swears that he's changed, and that [Weezer's] new album is the best thing that he's done since Pinkerton, and what happens? Another pile of crap like Beverly Hills or I'm Your Daddy. I beg you, Weezer," he said. "Take our money and disappear."

The bands response?

The band's drummer, Patrick Wilson, commented on Twitter: "If they can make it 20[million dollars]," he wrote, "We'll do the 'deluxe breakup.'"

Well, here's the site if you want to help out.

http://www.thepoint.com/campaigns/campaign-0-1079

So far they've raised a whopping $273. Failing the bribe, there's always this:

http://olegvolk.net/gallery/d/26747-1/lahti_20mm_4251.jpg


It finally happened. The most irritating song on the most irritating ride has killed someone. A cleaner working at Disneyland, Paris, was cleaning the It's A Small World After All ride when he inexplicably slipped, fell under a boat and got trapped.

I have been on this ride. It's the happiest in the world. It shines. It sings. It sparkles. Everyone is happy. Pure evil.

This is what the ride is like. You be the judge of what the measure of true evil is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bNWkXvNDTE

The Horror...


Meanwhile in Germany... It's not bad enough that the catholic church has a nasty reputation of playing "Pin The Charge On The Bishop", now it seems a Catholic aid society (legal aid I'm guessing) has decided to cancel Santa Claus.

Now before we go burning effigies and freaking out like certain unmentionable fundamentalists, here's their reasoning.

Santa Claus is "an invention of the advertising industry designed to boost sales" and as "a representative of consumer society" who has little to do with the historical figure of St Nicolas.

Wait, wasn't this fight already done on South Park? Oh no, wait, that was Santa Vs. Jesus. My bad. Please continue.

Their website describes Nicolas, the patron saint of children, as "a helper in need who reminds us to be kind, to think of our neighbours, and to give the gift of happiness."

Oh well, I guess since they booted St. Christopher, the Catholic church needs a new kiddie mascot protector person.

"Unlike Santa Claus, Nicolas wants to give children inner riches and not just encourage them to strive for material wealth," German TV presenter Nina Ruege was quoted saying.

So you're saying that you want kids to give up their presents... Good luck with that. Realise that you'll be condemning parents worldwide to this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zM8ym0FqM_k

I do like the message at the end. A more apt one would be, "All he Wanted Was A Blowjob."


Onward to the Pacific Rim - not a porno - where the government of The Philippines is about to join the Draconian Laws bandwagon.

Ever wondered why patriotism is a good idea? That's because it isn't. And in The Philippines, they're just one vote away from charging you for fowling up their national anthem.

The idea is to build patriotism through bullcrap laws and intimidation.

"Our Congress has given more teeth to government's campaign to invigorate patriotism, respect and love of country by singing our anthem properly," Representative Salvador Escudero, the bill's principal author, told reporters.

In reality, he's upset that Filipino artists and singers had been changing the anthem's military march melody and beat, and that the flag had been made into shirts and short pants.

There you have it, the government must never cover your ass, it's the law.

C'mon! The Philippines is karaoke country. How dare you make them all sing alike?

If the Senate passes the law, violators face up to two years in jail and a fine of 100,000 pesos ($2,280).

MacArthur should've left you for the Japanese. Try not to trip as you practice your goose-stepping there lads.


And now on to The Commonwealth Games where it seems that even the losers are winners. The drains at the Games Village are a little clogged... with thousands of used condoms.

Well, that's one way to keep your spirits up when your medal tally is down. Swing that tallywhacker and go for the gold... or pink as the case may be!


Speaking of tallywhackers, a Sydney woman has decided to lay claim to her cheating husband's chuloga in the most logical fashion - immolation.

Her justification: she suspected he was having an affair and so, burned his nether regions to "purify his penis".

Rajini Narayan, 46, has pleaded not guilty to murdering her husband and causing the fire that burned down their Aus $980 000 home.

Satish Narayan died in hospital from his injuries several weeks after being allegedly doused with methylated spirits and set alight.

"He was my hero, the man of my life, the love of my life," the mother-of-three told the court. "I was going to purify his penis, leave a mark there and he would remain with me. He would be mine."

She also told the neighbours: "I'm a jealous wife; his penis should belong to me. I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no-one else."

One other point to ponder: She only SUSPECTED he was cheating. But I guess a woman just knows... where the matches are.

Hello everyone. I'm Rajini, the Queen of Coo-Coo Land!!


Sao Paulo, Brazil. Voters there have made it abundantly clear how much they trust government... they just elected a clown. No, not a clown:

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/23500/George-W-Bush-Clown-23684.jpg

I mean a clown-clown:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih-d1ET_LZs

And he won.

He tried something that is rarely attempted in politics: he told the truth.

Tiririca caught the attention of voters by asking for their support with the slogan: "It can't get any worse" and a promise to do nothing more in Congress than report back to them on how politicians spend their time.

"What does a congressman do? The truth is I don't know, but vote for me and I'll tell you."

There was a late mad dash by prosecutors to get him barred from running on allegations that he's illiterate but really now lads, when has literacy ever been important in government? It didn't seem to matter when the US Congress passed The Patriot Act.

He joins a proud tradition clowning politicians along with the likes of the US, Venezuela, Zimbabwe, North Korea and South Africa.

The difference is that he has the decency to wear the suit.


And now... America!

In the land of the free it seems you can express your opinion in any way you choose, even with a gun. A Memphis man was so enraged when some teenagers wouldn't pull their pants up that he popped a cap in their exposed asses.

Kenneth E. Bonds approached the lads, berating them for their hip-huggers (that always wins a teen over) and when they refused to pull up their knee warmers, an argument began. Naturally, the best thing to do in a crisis is to resolve it quickly. So he took out a gun. They, surprisingly, ran away. He fired a few shots. He hit one of them in the ass. Mr. Bonds is now facing aggravated assault charges. Aggravated? What did he do? Pull their pants up after shooting them?


Texas is soon to be a hog free zone. I don't mean the midlife crisis mobile on sees around Sandton. I mean wild hogs.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/Texas%20Feral%20Hog/dkred5854/January08068.jpg

Looks like a fair fight to me.

http://www.nighthawkpublications.com/images/426/20.jpg

Yeah, right. Sure you shot that on your own.

The reason the authorities have declared the Feral Hog enemy #1 is because "feral hogs a costly nuisance to agricultural operations and wildlife habitats, but they are increasingly finding their way into urban areas and destroying residents' yards, public parks and golf courses."

Well of course, the golf courses must be protected. And the lawns too.

Just one thing I'd like to mention lads... THE HOGS WERE THERE FIRST!!!

But hey, that didn't stop their forefathers when they butchered the Comanche either. The motto for this quaint little hunt is "Hog Out Month - Get the Hog Outta Texas!"

Well yeehaw!

So that begs the question, when do we start hunting these hogs?

http://www.pollsb.com/photos/o/100060-ever_made_love_fat_woman.jpg


Ever been pulled over by the cops? Ever had them search your car and find drugs? Well, at that point, the answer is usually "It's not mine officer".

A man in Florida was pulled over and searched after cops smelled weed emanating from his car. They searched and found 27 crack rocks and a baggie of weed in between the cheeks of his ass. His prompt response: "The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is."

Well then that's okay. Some people hire drug mules. This guy must be the world's first drug elephant.


And finally... I'm sure anyone of us has reached for something in the dark, thinking its one thing but finding another. Well, that doesn't excuse this woman from Glendale, Arizona. 70-year old Irmagard Holm reached for the eye-drops one fine day... and managed to superglue her eyes shut.

"The second I put a drop in my left eye I realized it was super glue," she said. No really?!

I have a question:

What the hell are eye-drops and super glue doing in the same room, let aone on the same table?

Perhaps her kids could glue their hands to their faces as an eternal reminder of this epic fail.

Let Irma tell you in her own words:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/06/superglue-eye-drops_n_752217.html


This concludes this week's edition of The Opening Monologue. See you next week and remember, you haven't heard it all till you've heard The Last Say On Sunday.

Goodbye.

Posted by vittorio at 8:40 PM | Comments (0)

October 17, 2010

Stand-up Comedy @ The Comedy Underground

Sunday the 17th of October 2010

Comedy Underground
Cool Runnings, 27 4th Ave, Melville. Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa.

Information: (+2711) 482 4786

Brought to you by Cool Runnings and Whacked Management.

URL: http://www.whacked.co.za/home.html

Email: taffia@whacked.co.za

Telephone: (+2711) 326 0021

Join me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=91633385882
Join The Opening Monologue: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=303236570417

The insane JOHN VLISMAS is BACK!! He will be your host for the evening, with a great line-up, featuring some of SA's top talent and some new faces!

Line-up: John Vlismas (MC), George Kuda, Eureka Nkese, Yumna Mohamed, Ryan Whittal, Alyn Adams, Don Packett and Vittorio Leonardi.

Show Starts: 20:00
Entrance Fee: R20 with a valid Student card, otherwise R30

Posted by vittorio at 8:00 PM | Comments (0)

October 18, 2010

Stand-up Comedy @ Wish!

Monday the 12th of July 2010
Wish

Corner of 2nd Avenue and 7th Street, Melville

Join me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=info&gid=91633385882

Join The Opening Monologue: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?gid=303236570417&ref=ts

Brought to you by Kandicru Komedy Knights

Line-up: Tatz Nkonzo, Richard Deacon and Vittorio Leonardi.

Show Starts: 20:00
Entrance Fee: FREE!!

Posted by vittorio at 8:00 PM | Comments (0)

October 20, 2010

The Opening Monologue - 20/10/2010

The Opening Monologue - Wednesday the 20th of October 2010
Written by Vittorio Leonardi.


Good evening.

If this past week has taught me anything, its that people have too much time on their hands. We conduct research into Restless Leg Syndrome while whole parts of the earth are at war over food; celebrity problems are deeply followed while our governments continue to screw the pooch on basic services and everywhere on the planet from Vladivostok to Tokyo, from London to Arizona, more proof emerges that we are focussed on the wrong things. I, however, am thankful for these people. If they weren't there, who would I write about?

And so we begin another chronicle of the denizens living in the Land of The Lost: This Island Earth.

As if in answer to an unspoken prayer, armies of researchers are looking into things that we don't ever need to really know. Information that, when we discover it, our reaction is usually: "Oh... okay. That's interesting."

For example, a study published in Current Biology, showed that some species of dogs see the bowl as half-empty and others as half-full. Literally. They taught them that some bowls had food while others didn't and then they started messing with the dogs in the name of grant money... I mean science. The tests showed that, like people, dogs know what a disappointment it is to be around other people. The dogs saw it like this:

1. Man fall down: Funny.

2. Man fall down is dead and can't play fetch: Sad

3. Man tease dog till dog tears out man's femoral artery: Hysterical.

http://memegenerator.net/Insanity-Wolf/ImageMacro/1250656/Insanity-Wolf-kill-yourself-bite-necks.jpg

Fetching a stick over and over again only to see it hurled away again:: Insanity.

http://oaklandmofo.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/HLIC/2d674feaa267987c50038e6894d4a1a7.jpg


It finally happened! A German born without the common sense to realise that his actions are a hollow victory... Besides Adolf that is. The EU instituted a ban on light bulbs that are stringer than 60 Watts in an attempt to get people to use green energy saving light bulbs. One entrepreneur has cleverly sidestepped this law by importing 100W light bulbs as "small heating devices". He calls them "Heatballs".

http://translate.google.com/translate?js=n&prev=_t&hl=en&ie=UTF-8&layout=2&eotf=1&sl=auto&tl=en&u=http%3A%2F%2Fheatball.de%2F&act=url

And it's totally legal. His reasoning for his actions are as "resistance against legislation which is implemented without recourse to democratic and parliamentary processes." He added that energy-saving lamps contain mercury. He is going to donate 30 cents from every Heatball sold to saving the rainforest.

Kay.

Here's the thing.

Burning coal releases mercury. You burn more coal to power an 110W light bulb than a 15W energy saver. The energy saver has on-board mercury. The regular light bulb does not.

So the issue should be a simple one: Do you need ready access to Mercury?

I guess Bart Simpson was right, "You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't."

But the news isn't all bad.

A new innovation is being tested in Berlin. Stumbling out of a nightclub with sore feet, from dancing in heels all night, may be a thing of the past for women... and some men. Vending machines outside of nightclubs are being set up to dispense a set of flat shoes for ladies to walk home in. You also get a bag for your heels.

All this for $10.

A similar system is about to be tested outside of clubs in the UK. Machines will dispense a spray called "Ho Begone" - guaranteed to repel any chavs and/or Essex girls on contact. Apparently it smells of books and education.


It's getting so that you just can't pose nude any more. The Vienna State Opera has booted ballerina Karina Sarkissova because she failed to heed warnings not to pose nude for men's magazines.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/wienerpost/4904704443/in/set-72157624034464110/

http://www.wienerpost.at/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/sarkissova_schell2-199x300.jpg

I think the actions of The Vienna State Opera are totally over the top. Let's be serious now. For the most part, ballerina boobies are like ghosts:

1. They are rarely seen.

2. You've never seen one.

3. The only place you might get to see one is in an old book or magazine or on the internet.

And when one of them decides to share her bounty, the Freud-toting, waltz-mongers cry foul. Boo I say to you sirs! Boo I say!!


Ever had the repo-men cart off your stuff? Well, in Russia it's being taken to another level. A woman in Vladivostok had her pig repossessed after failing to settle her debt with the bank. After surveying her property, the decided the pig was "her most valuable possession". Shit guys... I think she has bigger problems. If you take away her pig, how is she supposed to bring home the bacon?

But I guess it's a sign of the times. Russia has invested in an inflatable army.

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/49432000/jpg/_49432219_jex_832011_de27-1.jpg

They look just like the real ones and are easy to inflate and deploy. They're also capable of tricking radar and thermal imaging into thinking that they're the real thing.

Kind of like an inflatable Idols winner - looks like an artist, sounds like an artist but is full of hot air.

The current arsenal of gas power includes tanks S-300 rocket launchers, MiG fighter jets and even radar stations.

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/49432000/jpg/_49432219_jex_832011_de27-1.jpg

Well, I'm impressed. However, if I may make on point: The next time you create hardware that is based on deception for it to work, how about you don't let it flight on the news.


Further east, Taiwan is planning on allowing brothels. Small ones. The government is poised to pass a law allowing sex workers to set up small businesses. The catch is that the venue can only employ three to five staff. So, if you find yourself horny in Taipei, remember threesomes and foursomes are do-able, but no orgies. They love you medium time.


As the fate of the media hangs in the balance here at home, we get to see what a political mouthpiece the media can be in Bangkok. Thailand's Finance Minister decided to use a soap opera to spread some government foulness. In a special episode, the minister appeared in a vast hall to explaining the government's plan to help the people repay their debt. The dialogue was riveting stuff.

"The government of Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva has helped over 500,000 people and reduced debt burden by about 3 billion baht ($100 million) per month. It's lucky that Mr. Prajuab registered," the minister said, referring to one of the characters.

One has to wonder if that could be done here. President JZ could come on, explaining why the Hawks have dumped the arms-deal probe. In the episode, JZ blows away a character called Justice Constitution, and then the Hawks will make the gun disappear. The show ends with them denying the existence of a gun, not knowing where it is or even what a gun is. They freeze in position, laughing, after a final killing joke and the credits - TV magic at its best.

http://themissingsandwich.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/batman_the_killing_joke_1600x1200.jpg


And if you thought we were leaving America out of this week's episode, think again. A special kind of crazy is always left for my final segment.

And finally... Chandler Arizona, a peaceful community not unlike the ones you see in horror movies. And it would seem that among its more colourful residents, a few are stuck in the 80's... The Lost Boys 80's. Meet Aaron Homer and his girlfriend, Amanda Wiliamson.

http://assets.nydailynews.com/img/2010/10/11/alg_resize_mug_vampires.jpg

http://cdawgownd.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/the-lost-boys.jpg

You can see the resemblance, can't you?

Yes indeed, these two freaks think they're vampires. And it seems that they decided to get a little too nippy with their dinner. It seems that Homer was keen for another feeding off his room-mate, Robert Maley. But Bob was having none of that. Once was gay enough. So Homer stabbed him in the arm.

"He wants to cut you again so he could suck your blood?" asked the officer.

"And I said no and then he flipped because they think they're vampires," replied Robert Maley.

As a cover, Homer and Williamson told the cops that Amanda had stabbed Bob in self defence. Then they threw fake blood around just to make it convincing. Yeah, because his blood just threw itself at you, huh?

Here's how that police interview went down.

"Why is there fake blood all over your floor and all over your room and fake blood on the knife that was supposedly in somebody's arm?" asked an officer during a taped interview.

"This is a really freaky situation and I know he was bleeding..." said Homer.

"You got that right. You're definitely right about that," said the officer.

Wow... they just don't make vampires like they used to.

http://scienceblogs.com/isisthescientist/edward-and-bella.jpg

Whoops! Sorry, I meant a real vampire. That was a fag and his hag.

http://www.kewlwallpapers.com/images/wallpapers/30_Days_Of_Night_wallpaper_1280_21-134087.jpeg

There. Much better.


This concludes this week's edition of The Opening Monologue. See you next week and remember, you haven't heard it all till you've heard The Last Say On Sunday.

Goodbye.

Posted by vittorio at 5:40 PM | Comments (0)

Improv Comedy @ Parker's Comedy & Jive

Wednesday the 20th of October 2010

Parker's Comedy & Jive
Shop 24 (Entrance 1)
Montecasino, Montecasino Boulevard, (C/o William Nicol and Witkoppen Roads), Fourways, Sandton, Gauteng, South Africa.

Website: http://www.parkerscomedy.com/ and http://www.parkerleisure.co.za/
Bookings: (+2711) 511 0081

BOOK AT COMPUTICKET:
http://www.computicket.com/web/event/parker_s_comedy_20_october/243224533

Join my Facebook group at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=91633385882&v=info
Join The Opening Monologue at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=303236570417

Line-up: Joe Parker (MC), Improv Express. And your headliner for the evening: UK comic Dave Thompson

Show Starts: 21:00
Entrance Fee: R70

Posted by vittorio at 9:00 PM | Comments (0)

October 21, 2010

Stand-up Comedy with The Joburg Comedy Cartel @ The Seabrooke Theatre

Thursday the 21st October 2010
The Joburg Comedy Cartel

The Seabrooke Theatre
Durban High School
255 St. Thomas Road, Musgrave, Durban

BOOK AT COMPUTICKET:
http://www.computicket.com/web/event/joburg_comedy_cartel/242583454

FACEBOOK EVENT: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=166216430057789

POSTER:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IpY7aSzmEM4/TJeQNTlmfPI/AAAAAAAAAvY/YftnnT1C5_k/s1600/the_JOBURG_comedy_cartel.jpg

Four of Johannesburg's hottest, funniest and most original stand up comedy acts band together for the first time in one show, to bring an evening of guaranteed laughs to the Seabrook Theatre.

This inaugural tour to Durban is not your average comedy show!

Line-up: Shaun Wewege, Alyn Adams, Warren Robertson and Vittorio Leonardi.

Show Starts: 19:30
Entrance Fee: R100

Posted by vittorio at 7:30 PM | Comments (0)

October 22, 2010

Stand-up Comedy with The Joburg Comedy Cartel @ The Seabrooke Theatre

Friday the 22nd October 2010
The Joburg Comedy Cartel

The Seabrooke Theatre
Durban High School
255 St. Thomas Road, Musgrave, Durban

BOOK AT COMPUTICKET:
http://www.computicket.com/web/event/joburg_comedy_cartel/242583454

FACEBOOK EVENT: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=166216430057789

POSTER:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IpY7aSzmEM4/TJeQNTlmfPI/AAAAAAAAAvY/YftnnT1C5_k/s1600/the_JOBURG_comedy_cartel.jpg

Four of Johannesburg's hottest, funniest and most original stand up comedy acts band together for the first time in one show, to bring an evening of guaranteed laughs to the Seabrook Theatre.

This inaugural tour to Durban is not your average comedy show!

Line-up: Shaun Wewege, Alyn Adams, Warren Robertson and Vittorio Leonardi.

Show Starts: 19:30
Entrance Fee: R100

Posted by vittorio at 7:30 PM | Comments (0)

October 23, 2010

Stand-up Comedy with The Joburg Comedy Cartel @ The Seabrooke Theatre

Saturday the 23rd October 2010
The Joburg Comedy Cartel

The Seabrooke Theatre
Durban High School
255 St. Thomas Road, Musgrave, Durban

BOOK AT COMPUTICKET:
http://www.computicket.com/web/event/joburg_comedy_cartel/242583454

FACEBOOK EVENT: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=166216430057789

POSTER:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_IpY7aSzmEM4/TJeQNTlmfPI/AAAAAAAAAvY/YftnnT1C5_k/s1600/the_JOBURG_comedy_cartel.jpg

Four of Johannesburg's hottest, funniest and most original stand up comedy acts band together for the first time in one show, to bring an evening of guaranteed laughs to the Seabrook Theatre.

This inaugural tour to Durban is not your average comedy show!

Line-up: Shaun Wewege, Alyn Adams, Warren Robertson and Vittorio Leonardi.

Show Starts: 19:30
Entrance Fee: R100

Posted by vittorio at 7:30 PM | Comments (0)

October 26, 2010

Stand-up Comedy @ The Grid & Grill

Tuesday the 26th of October 2010

The Grid & Grill
80 Pretoria Road, Rynfield, Benoni

Join my Facebook group at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=91633385882&v=info
Join The Opening Monologue at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=303236570417

Line-up: Tony De King (MC), Vittorio Leonardi and Chris Forrest.

Show Starts: 20:30
Entrance Fee: FREE!

Posted by vittorio at 8:30 PM | Comments (0)

October 27, 2010

The Opening Monologue - 27/10/2010

The Opening Monologue - Wednesday the 27th of October 2010
Written by Vittorio Leonardi.


Good evening.

This past week seems to have been one of self-actualisation for some of our fellow earthlings. In China, a woman has gotten closer to herself and in the US, a Florida woman got a mouth-hug from the fish. Also, American found a new toy to add to their arsenal - a gun that can shoot around corners;

http://regmedia.co.uk/2010/10/15/xm25_frontal.jpg

And the German Chancellor learned the value of boundaries.

It's another beautiful day in the neighbourhood...

Or is it?


The Japanese have just realised that not only is tourism important but that all visitors coming into their country aren't local.

Small victories.

It's for this reason that they're going to employ English, Korean and Chinese speaking locals to wander around, making notes on simple things for the benefit of tourists.

Like catching a train:

http://blog.bubble.ro/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/japan_train_motivational.jpg

Using the restroom:

http://motivationalimage.com/old/wp-content/uploads/55b9005f074210_full.jpg

Or what to order at the local restaurants:

http://myspace.roflposters.com/images/rofl/myspace/1199847876732.jpg.%5Broflposters.com%5D.myspace.jpg

Basically, their trying to combat stereotypes:

http://holycrapthatsfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/wtf1.png
http://holycrapthatsfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/japan_weird.jpeg
http://lolympics.com/files/images/motivational-poster-japan-02.jpg
http://xspblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/japan1140e039cb9.jpg

And come up with something different:

http://seemslegit.com/_images/a1521e977272b977f85b31227a59203e/1212%20-%20japan%20motivationals.jpg

Make yourself comfy folks. We're going to be here for a while.


Sometimes you should just listen to the sage advice of horror movies and "Get out of the water!!" But some folk, it seems, need to be taught. And one Florida woman is never going to forget. It seems that she and a companion were kayaking in shallow water one evening near Big Pine Key when a Barracuda -

Not this one:

http://media.motortopia.com/files/9566/vehicle/47581e0c398a6/DSC05577.jpg

This one -

http://en.academic.ru/pictures/enwiki/66/Barracuda_with_prey.jpg

Skipped across the water, struck her in the chest and knocked her into the water. Her wounds: a punctured lung and broken ribs.

http://picture.funnycorner.net/funny-pictures/5506/Man-the-harpoons.jpg

According to the article, "Barracudas are sleek, swift predators with razor sharp teeth. Other cases of the fish leaping out of the water and biting fishermen and boaters have been reported in Florida."

Has anyone considered that the fish just don't like Florideans? With the remake of Piranha in full swing, I guess we just found a sequel.

http://www.wrongsideoftheart.com/wp-content/gallery/posters-b/barracuda_poster_01.jpg

Ah, there's the nightmare fuel I was looking for.


US President Barack Obama has just finished up shooting an appearance on Mythbusters. This is part of an ongoing campaign to raise the profile of science, math and engineering. Recent studies have shown that these subjects are falling in interest among US teens. Hell, it's easy to get boys into science, just tell 'em they get to blow stuff up!

Unless you're the president:

"I can announce today that I taped a special guest appearance for their show, although I didn't get to blow anything up," Obama said at a White House science fair event. "I was a little frustrated with that." And that's why I would vote for him. Shame on you Mythbusters. He's the president. Let the man nuke something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gxm_qpKh7Jw


Speaking of dropping a bomb, you'd think that the Vatican would've learned to shut its pie-hole by now. Or at least it would've learned to do up its fly. But no. This past week, a Vatican newspaper announced that Homer Simpson and Bart are Catholics. What's the strategy, you've scared off all the humans so now you're going after the toons?

http://blog.beliefnet.com/deaconsbench/LiamNeeson_Simpsons.jpg

A 2005 study conducted by a Jesuit priest found that "The Simpsons" is "among the few TV programs for kids in which Christian faith, religion and questions about God are recurrent themes."

The middle class U.S. family prays before meals, and "in its own way, believes in the beyond," the newspaper quoted the Jesuit study as saying.

In December 2009, the Osservatore Romano described the show as "tender and irreverent, scandalous and ironic, boisterous and profound, philosophical and sometimes even theological, nutty synthesis of pop culture and of the lukewarm and nihilistic American middle class."

Okay... so what about Marge, Maggie and Lisa? Oh wait, I remember now. You guys go in for the boys. My mistake.


Meanwhile, on the other side of a rusted Iron Curtain, Moscow is about to open another cemetery. And it's an elitist one. Wow, you guys really know how to party. The Amish have a barn-raising; you guys have a coffin-sinking. However there is good reason for the new cemetery. The Russians are concerned that the rising mortality rate in their country might rob a famous person of a final resting place. So, they've built a new cemetery where those "who have made a meaningful contribution to the humanitarian sphere, or to culture, science or society," can rest easy.

Well bully for them. And as for the rest of you rabble, if you wake up in a wooden box and you smell smoke and gas burners, realise that you're a worthless turd. You didn't qualify for a grave and your last moments on this earth will be spent heating the homeless.

Have a nice day!!


Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel caused quite a stir when she paid a surprise visit to the national team after their victory over Turkey. Here's the thing: you've just finished the game, you're standing around with sweat dripping off you, and you're shirtless. Then this wanders in.

http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Everyone%20Else/images-3/angela-merkel-3.jpg

What would your reaction be?

http://media.funlol.com/content/img/hory-shet.jpg

Yup, I thought so. It certainly was the reaction of the coach. It seems he doesn't want to share his boys with anyone. Still, it could be a heck of a motivator.

"Lads, keep on winning or next time she's coming back topless."

http://media.funlol.com/content/img/hory-shet.jpg


So some guy is suing Bible.com.

http://images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2008/8/11/roflmao128629864358935877.jpg

Sorry. I had to get that out of my system. He's suing them because, according to him, the board members - a lot of them ordained priests - are breaching their duties by failing to sell the site or run it in a profitable way.

Now, before we cast the first stone, let's look where the blame lies. They raised money by forming Bible.com Inc. and issuing stock. However they seemed to have glossed over the part where it says that investors are greedy and want a return on said stock. Heck, I don't know how they could've missed it. It was right there in the original business plan - the one drawn up by the priests. It states that: "it is the goal of the board of directors to become very, very profitable."

Guys, this wasn't even in the fine print. You should've known better. But hey, some things, you've just got to leave up to the pros. I mean making money off religion, that's so Vatican!


Victoria's Secret has felt the credit crunch right in the boobies. Every year they release a fantasy bra or a Bling bra if we're being honest. This year's asset shiner had to be blinged down this year because of the economic poo-storm. This years one only cost $2 million.

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/galleries/adriana_lima_dons_2m_bra/adriana_lima_dons_2m_bra.html

That's Adriana Lima wearing it. The bra is worth one third of her annual salary paid to her by Victoria's Secret.

Wow, you guys really are suffering.

PRICKS!!


Did you ever want to put the fear of Dog into a cat? Just to wipe that smug, lolcat look of its face. Well, now you can. You've heard of Parkour or Free Running?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jquXcwooV6A

Well then, meet B-arkour!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXElh_VM0Uc

This is Tre T, a five-year old Staffordshire terrier living in the Ukraine. His adopted family trained him up to be... Spider Dog. And now no Mailman is safe. No kitty will ever again say hello. It's Judgement Day for the cats of his neighbourhood. Be thankful he uses his powers for good.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0k21yeVMbM&feature=related

It could always be a lot worse.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

http://www.elfwood.com/fanq/m/c/mcw2/nightling___demon_dog.jpg


And finally... A Taiwanese lady is about to get married... to herself. She says that mounting social pressure to get married and being uninspired by the men she's dated has led her to this.

Okay... Sorry folks, I've got nothing.

One thought springs to mind, the honeymoon's going to be interesting. Never has a manicure seemed more like foreplay than right now.

Questions will need to be answered:

"Was it good for me? I know it was good for you lefty."

And then the fight's will start because lefty is the jealous type.

"You're shaking other hands now? You bitch!!"

And what about clothes?

"That gloves too small for you lefty-"

"What are you trying to say?!"

Oh nothing..."

Ah, wedded bliss.


This concludes this week's edition of The Opening Monologue. See you next week and remember, you haven't heard it all till you've heard The Last Say On Sunday.

Goodbye.

Posted by vittorio at 12:24 PM | Comments (0)

Improv Comedy @ Parker's Comedy & Jive

Wednesday the 27th of October 2010

Parker's Comedy & Jive
Shop 24 (Entrance 1)
Montecasino, Montecasino Boulevard, (C/o William Nicol and Witkoppen Roads), Fourways, Sandton, Gauteng, South Africa.

Website: http://www.parkerscomedy.com/ and http://www.parkerleisure.co.za/
Bookings: (+2711) 511 0081

BOOK AT COMPUTICKET:
http://www.computicket.com/web/event/parker_s_comedy_27_october/243224667

Join my Facebook group at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=91633385882&v=info
Join The Opening Monologue at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=303236570417

Line-up: Dave Levinsohn (MC), Improv Express. And your headliner for the evening: UK comic Dave Thompson

Show Starts: 21:00
Entrance Fee: R70

Posted by vittorio at 9:00 PM | Comments (0)

October 29, 2010

Stand-up Comedy @ Chobe Sands Clubhouse

Friday the 29th of October 2010

Complex Comedy
Chobe Sands Clubhouse

C\o Douglas Drive & Alexander Avenue, Douglasdale.

Facebook Event: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=156179687749543&index=1

Come join us in the Clubhouse for a night of raucous comedy!

Join my Facebook group at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=91633385882&v=info
Join The Opening Monologue at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=303236570417

Line-up: Robert Fridjhon (MC), Chris Forrest, Mel Miller, Vittorio Leonardi and Surprise Headliner.

Show Starts: 20:00
Entrance Fee: R60 at the door

Posted by vittorio at 8:00 PM | Comments (0)